My mom has also been losing weight (I’m so proud of her) and we chatted this morning about how people were noticing both of our “transformations”.  She had visited some friends over the weekend that she had not seen in some time and they had remarked how good she looked. I shared with her that my boss on Friday had also mentioned that he noticed my weight loss and that I looked great. This is sorta a big deal because my boss is a quiet man who usually keeps to himself about most matters in the office. So it was cool that he took the time to say something nice. Anyway, in our chat, my mom mentioned that even though people are noticing her weight loss and her clothes are starting to feel looser – she doesn’t necessarily see her progress. That hit home for me. I knew exactly what she meant.

I know I’ve lost weight. I’m smaller dress size and a lower weight, but somehow my brain has trouble computing it. In the mirror, I still see the fat girl I was at 217.2 lbs when I started.  What’s worse – my self-esteem isn’t where it needs to be either.

It’s really hard to put into words. The rational side of my brain knows that I’m a smart, funny, hard-working girl with a great smile. The irrational side of me just doesn’t feel it. My saving grace is that I’m so busy with work and working out that I don’t have much time to dwell on the negative, but the nagging feeling is still there.

 

Seriously! There is no reason I shouldn’t love the new me.

I need to work on that. I need a mentality that matches my new body.

 

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6 responses »

  1. OMG, I know exactly what you mean. The self-image is the hardest. We have to ask ourselves. Who do we want to be and who are we? You are amazing!

    • She BANGS! says:

      Thanks for the kind words – they help motivate me, especially knowing others are going through it too!

  2. loseitbig says:

    I think we always see ourselves like we used to see ourselves. I look at myself and still see a kid that just graduated high school (that is a long time ago). And then I go to a High School game and hear the kids say, “Just ask that older guy what time it is”

  3. martha84 says:

    I 100% feel you on this one! It’s an issue I still cope with daily – isn’t it weird that even if you work really hard to look your best, confidence doesn’t just automatically come along with it? I still feel uncomfortable in some of my clothing – clothes that I wore and thought I looked good in when I was 70 pounds heavier! What gives? I hope you find everything you’re looking for and things get easier for you! You have worked so hard – you deserve to feel like a million bucks!

    • She BANGS! says:

      Awww – that is so sweet of you, thanks!

      I’ve noticed that too, when I put on clothes, even though they are smaller, I’m more critical of my body, than before when I was bigger.

      I need to cut myself some slack!

      FYI : That is so awesome that you’ve shed all that weight! Congrats!

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