My mom has also been losing weight (I’m so proud of her) and we chatted this morning about how people were noticing both of our “transformations”. She had visited some friends over the weekend that she had not seen in some time and they had remarked how good she looked. I shared with her that my boss on Friday had also mentioned that he noticed my weight loss and that I looked great. This is sorta a big deal because my boss is a quiet man who usually keeps to himself about most matters in the office. So it was cool that he took the time to say something nice. Anyway, in our chat, my mom mentioned that even though people are noticing her weight loss and her clothes are starting to feel looser – she doesn’t necessarily see her progress. That hit home for me. I knew exactly what she meant.
I know I’ve lost weight. I’m smaller dress size and a lower weight, but somehow my brain has trouble computing it. In the mirror, I still see the fat girl I was at 217.2 lbs when I started. What’s worse – my self-esteem isn’t where it needs to be either.
It’s really hard to put into words. The rational side of my brain knows that I’m a smart, funny, hard-working girl with a great smile. The irrational side of me just doesn’t feel it. My saving grace is that I’m so busy with work and working out that I don’t have much time to dwell on the negative, but the nagging feeling is still there.
Seriously! There is no reason I shouldn’t love the new me.
I need to work on that. I need a mentality that matches my new body.